I think you have great insight. I'm so sorry people were so unkind to you when you were growing up. Those are our formative years so it makes total sense that those hurts have influenced how you feel about yourself. It is a terrible cycle. (those people were probably badly treated themselves too) But it can be stopped. You already have the tools because you said you have faith in yourself. How absolutely wonderful How did you get that faith? Was there one person who was good to you? As for your losses, how are you feeling about them nowadays?