i am HORRIBLE about this. i get this idea in my head, that somebody holds the key to getting me better and i will write explicitly long emails so intimate that i want to crawl under a rock in embarrassment when i am stable enough to realize what i have done. but i am COMPELLED to write and send them. there is no stopping me. and the poor receivers have said, "kaliope, i was so worried, i didnt know if i should show up with the cops or not" and "it is really hard being your friend" because they dont know how to respond. so i have explained to them that it is part of my illness and the compulsion and that they dont even have to read them, just to delete them. so i set it up with one friend that i would email him. the subject line would be "do not read" and i would write what ever i needed to and send it off to him and he would just delete it. this way i could address my need to get it out and get rid of it and he wouldnt be burdened with the stress of worrying about me. it worked out really well.