I think this sentence says it all ^

You're right...you are focusing on self-care, and every time you've seen her for a long time, you've felt worse. It feels like you see her, it's super painful, you work through that pain and put yourself back together and then it's time to see her again and the cycle restarts. You. do. not. have. to. put. yourself. through. that. any. more.

Take care of YOU, zoo. Listen to what your inner wisdom is telling you.

Breathe and then breathe some more. You know that little space that just opened up? There's more.

Hang in there, sweet friend.