oh, but a part of me cries and says: give T one more chance to fix it, give her a chance to help us feel better, let T make it all better like she has done before.

And I have compassion for that part, even while I know the truth: T cannot fix this. T will not fix this. T won't be fixing things for me any more. And someday, I will be ok with that.

and tree, yes, I have seen that cycle each week for the past month. And each week it gets more damaging, gets harder to bounce back from. I don't know where I will be if I put myself through it again. And...if I don't go back, I might wonder for the rest of my life if I did the right thing. I might never feel closure. But even if I do back, the same could hold true.

I don't know, it is very confusing. I am going to talk to new-T tomorrow and I hope she can help me sort this out.