Great advice again I appreciate you taking time to think about my issues and provide some thoughtful insights! I like the idea or having a set line to tell my mom. I didn`t mean to give the impression that my mom was abusive or mean. She is not. she just has a very selfish way of looking at relationships within the family and she often feels hurt that she doesn`t get the love and attention she wants which is understandable. She doesn`t have a good relationship with my dad they are at constant odds. she think her children should fill that role to pay attention to her and give her the love she is looking for but that is not our role or our job and she wants it to be. so she is mad alot when that doesn`t happen. my dad is a lousy partner to her and a lame father. I truely believed she settled with him and maybe he was the only guy interested in her. they got married at 19 and 20 years old and I think she was pregnant with my brother before they got married because she won`t tell me when her and my dad got married. But that is off the subject anyway but I want to work on ridding myself of the baggage that I have from childhood because I know it has had a diar effect on how I am todayI`d LOVE TO GET THEREPY BUT MY MOM PAYS MY HEALTH INSURANCE AND SHE DON`t BELIEVE IN IT Opps sorry about the caps I`m using my mobile phhone to type this. And about not being able to find other women with advice on here who have sz husbands you are right and I agree! ive found one blog with a woman with a bipolar husband and that was helpful to read because she was educating herself, going to therepy herself to get her own issues cleared up and empowering herself and it was really great because she had some advice that I could apply with my bf