I go through this thinking quite often, and I know how frustrating it can be. At the moment we're on an 'up swing' so things feel good, but when I start having the feelings of mistrust it can get very ugly.

Unfortunately I don't understand it myself. I think it may be part of the rupture-repair cycle that we go through and I just keep hoping there's good that comes from it. Like each time we (I) survive the bond is stronger.