So sorry INR. I wish I had the answers and knew why. I think it does matter whether you live or die. I think there is more than the crappy hand life deals out sometimes. I just joined yesterday and I am by no means *any* kind of expert on how to deal with this....I am just starting to try to figure it out myself. But I am here. I hope that others here today can give you the advice you need. I can at least give my words and hope that it helps some.