Sigh all in the same boat. Bad memories- unable to make a perfect holiday- some years too high of expectations- some years just another day- can't buy anything these last years so i've tried to make things which some appreciate and some i think look down on me. Idk. Then i feel bad cuz i have issues seeing my family during the holidays but then been going to my boyfriend's parents over these few years. I use to work all the time but i have been told not on some holidays. And this year i'm furlough over these holidays so it's like not an option any ways. I still have issues with seeing my boyfriend's family over the holidays- i feel like a poke em with a stick .

I just try to keep going. I try to stay away from drinking too much these days to dull my pains, and been staying away from other dull substances. I try to just take one day at time some times. I try to remind myself that now with my boyfriend's parents especially his mom- they like to see me they like my company and so forth. I try to remind my self to be realistic.

Sigh. It's hard. It's even harder when you've work with a boss for about 4 to 5 years and every year around the holidays she too goes crazy but takes it out on her workers. Ie this time of the year we all are doing everything wrong and she yells at us. It's hard cuz she some what triggers me- but none the less as years have went with work i realize what is wrong with work and what she's just upset about cuz she doesn't work at our places every day she is lost.

I hope you all best wishes these holidays :-) and that you can find a way to occupy the time