My Support Forums - View Single Post - re-injured

eskielover · Nov 21, 2011, 09:09 AM

Hunny

I know it's hard to come to the realization when we always try to hold onto hope that family will be what our expectation of the loving relationship that God intended the family to be like.

The good thing is that you are wise & now KNOW what your sister & brother are like & are able to take control of your life & not continue to allow them into your life or live with the HOPE that they will someday be the brother & sister you thought they should be like.

Yes, the regret when you think about it will always exist that their free will choice was to not be the caring brother & sister that God intends family to be like. There will always be sadness when the thought crosses your mind of the things they took from you. My psychologist told me those are normal emotions & need to be acknowledged when they come up in our thoughts. It's ok that they come up in our thoughts at times because they are & were a part of our life. There will always be things that happen in our life to bring those thoughts into our mind. Just the fall feel in the air triggers some of those thoughts in me along with winter rain storms. It's what we do with those thoughts that's important. Just be aware of them, acknowledge them & that they are ok to be thinking because they are valid thoughts based on what has happened.

Quote:

Thankfully I can focus on my current family and I am grateful for them when thoughts of these siblings creep into my mind.

Grieve the losses & then go on with what you were doing in your life before the thoughts hit you. It's the way to stay better in control of your emotions & keep yourself from continually being re-injured by the thoughts & it stops our obsessing on those thoughts. It's not that easy to do but with practice, it can really help. Being aware of ourselves, our thoughts & what is going on around us is very important in our healing process.

The same process can be used with the vision you get of the plane crash.....take control of your thoughts & your emotions & when you see the vision, acknowledge it & the feelings you are having without obsessing or getting stuck on the thoughts & then go back to what you were doing. What ever triggers those thoughts & the recognition of the crash & your emotions need to come out & acknowledge how you are feeling & what made you feel that way.......we just don't need to get stuck on those thoughts & need to get back to what we were doing when those thoughts came into our mind.....that gets us through those thoughts & back into our daily life. Sounds like you are doing much better than you have previously......each day & each step is one closer to feeling better more of the time