I think it depends on the deed. I've heard of family members forgiving the person who murdered their loved one and even saw a woman who survived being shot 3 times...forgive the shooter. It takes a great deal of work and going through a process to attain that level of forgiveness. I liked the poem SunnyD left and last 2 posters Neurontin and 33yankee33 - you can make the choice not to let it occupy your mind and hold you back. There's also different types of forgiveness - such as the wrong doer apologizes sincerely and the other person accepts or the victim decides in their own mind to put the deed to rest and not dwell on it anymore. I also agree forgiveness doesn't mean you condone or have contact with the person. I also think a person should have the permission not to forgive but at least they shouldn't continue to ruminate and feel stressed over it.