I've had a nice little vacation from my paranoia--a few years now--but it's returned full force.

I quit going to my appointments, don't go outside the apartment for too much unless I completely have to, and feel unsafe everywhere but inside my apartment. Even opening windows and doors to let air or sunshine in feels unsafe. I am back to feeling like everyone's gonna hurt me again.

I had to walk down to the post office (a 5 minute walk away) to mail a letter for my dad today and felt extremely paranoid and unsafe. There were a bunch of kids playing on the road (all 12 and under) and I kept having the same image running through my head--me on the ground curled up in a ball and them all hovering above me...taunting me, kicking me, and calling me names. These thoughts are more a child's thoughts than an adult woman's thoughts who is almost 30 years old!

I feel like I'm being raped of my own rights in my life from many people. I'm in a panic much of the time at the sheer thought of going outside. No one is really being supportive of me, either. They tell me to get over it. I feel like giving up anymore...I just can't do this all over again.