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AmandaLouise, I had a feeling I would get a response from you and I had a feeling it would be very similar to what you said. Because I know it's true. I know it's maybe something I shouldn't be playing around with. As you said, I can hope it's not a seizure disorder but until a doctor confirms it's not, I can't really play around. It just gets soo tiring fighting something I don't know. It's so strange how similarthe blackouts feel when my mood changes or I just lose time and the seizure or the fainting spell or things of that sort. It's so strange how they all seem to be the same thing but not at the same time. I guess it's not something I should mess with, I know it's not but it really does get frustrating. I know what I should and shouldn't be doing but when I get tired, as you said I give up when I get stuck and I'm stuck now.
I'm not in California, I live on the complete opposite side of the world and I am working but I keep my profile descriptions to a minimum because my ex often comes on here looking for my and my posts. He found out about pc before I left him and I've since had my screen name changed and such but I just keep that wrong in case he happens to come across the profile. I am "full time" which really means 32 hours a week. They are technically required to give me benefits since I'm full time but not until my probation is over. I've been here since August of last year and they never offered it. I quit in March and came right back to this job in July and have been here since July and they wont give me insurance until January when my probation is up and even that insurance is terrible and in all honesty, I can't afford the doctors appointments even with insurance. After bills, before food gas and such are taken out of my pay, I will only have 50 left for this week. I couldn't afford to lose a dollar to anything or it comes out my daughter food and I can't have that...
I am stuck, I don't know what to do and when I can't figure it out, I give up. I guess I shouldn't. I know I shouldn't play around and try to trigger a blackout but it's getting more and more tempting. I just want to know what it is. But if it does turn out to be a physical problem, triggering it would not be good... Ugh I really do need a t...
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I'd lock my hands behind my head, I'd cover my heart and hit the deck, I'd brace myself for the impact if I were you.
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