No such thing as depression.. thats what my family think and are quite verbal about. In fact anything they are not comfortable with, dont have any personal experience of or have but wont admit to ... either doesnt exist or you are stupid for sharing such a 'weakness' in your character. They espouse the 'Pull yourself together' mantra of ignorance. Guess it makes them feel better ....

So, needless to say Im not great at approaching family!!! and this also affects my sharing with friends and mental health professionals per se. At the worst times I just cant approach anyone.

I isolate myself and gradually retreat from all relationships the more it becomes almost hypocritical to keep up appearances for the sake of other people. Phone goes on answer machine till people get sick of leaving messages. Ive gone sick from work for weeks and then left jobs when it has gotten too much.

So, I dont do great ..and it generally does make things worse because I then feel guilty about not getting back to people ..not being able to be happy for them etc. I tell myself its for the best at the time ...justify it.

I do recognise the early signs more now...so I have staved off some bouts ..but as I speak Ive not crossed the door for months and a have a partner who does almost everything to keep thigs ticking over.

Just hoping sharing on this site will stop me crashing any further