Quote:
Originally Posted by MELISSSAD81
Skysblue...
I guess my question is in the midst of the waivering do you know deep down that you can stll trust T? That is ALWAYS what I have to look at when I start waivering. Then ask why I am waivering. If it involves T directly something she said,didnt say, did, didnt do....I take it to her directly. Often times it is a misunderstanding of some sort we work it out and I am back to 100% in it. Really no matter what it is I take it to T because that is my best option to looking at it clearly. She has never tried to talk me out of leaving it has always been working out/through the exact situation.
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I guess we need to determine what we mean by 'trust'. If trust means never being hurt by T, I guess that would be an impossibility. Even though I've told my T that she's the perfect T, she rejects that label and continues to try to convince me she's human and makes mistakes.
I think I may have been expecting from her what isn't humanly possible. So, does that mean I can't 'trust' her?
Maybe if I accept that I'll get hurt and that I'll experience pain in session and that she won't always get it right and that she's stumbling along just like I am (but she has a bit better vision than me) and that we're in a real human relationship with all its ups and downs - maybe then, with that acceptance I can begin to 'trust'.
So, then the word 'trust' changes its meaning somewhat. There are some things I am sure I can trust my T with. I trust her implicitly that she only wants the best for me. I trust her completely that she will do all she can for me. I trust her that she really does care about me. I trust that nothing that I say or do will alienate her from me.
So, as I begin to see with a bit more clarity, I must step back and shout to the world that I TRUST MY T 100%