Quote:
Originally Posted by ballet_girl
T tells me that we need to be able to talk about it, but at the same time whenever I say something she asks me if I really mean it and tells me that if I say yes then I have to go to the hospital. So then I have to tell her that I didn't mean anything I just said. I'm not suicidal right now, but its something that I've been thinking about a lot and I want to be open and honest about it with her.
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I think if you differentiate and qualify, say something like "I do not feel suicidal but have been thinking about the idea of suicide. . ." that might help your T better understand where you are coming from.
Think about "I have been thinking about suicide." That can mean committing it as well as just the "concept" so it is important to be clear and start with telling your therapist how you do not feel at all suicidal right now, unless you do and then you should tell her that too so she can help, even if it means hospital rather than a suicide attempt!
It's better to ask a "stupid" question than make a stupid mistake. It is better to go to the hospital if you are thinking of suicide too much than to not go and attempt your life. Talking about plans and how you would commit suicide if you were suicidal is thinking about suicide too much.