That's ok, these are the things that make you grow, and the harder something is to do, the more rewarding

So right after I wrote that I went and did it. I only managed a "good morning" and to my surprise I got a pleasant-sounding "hi."

Next time maybe I'll manage a "Hi Name" and one day if I'm particularly adventurous "Hi Name How are you?"

Go Debbie, it's your birthday.

It does feel particularly empowering. And a HUGE part of why I wanted to do this is because I don't know if *I* sent out mixed signals at the beginning. CT told me I probably gave friendly vibes from the beginning since I tend to be friendly to everyone but I told her no, I was probably giving deer-in-the-headlights/want-to-run-the-other-way vibes. I don't know why I freeze up inside when I see OT. But I think today's hello made a difference and I can be a little more relaxed in the same room now (admittedly, that's my problem and issue, not hers... but I was going out of my way to treat her WORSE (pretending she didn't exist) than everyone else and it's just not who I want to be, but I was going by a maybe misguided feeling that she could barely stand to be in the same room as me).