My boyfriend has a really hard time opening up to me. I think he's afraid to let his real self out... he seems to be protecting himself by distancing himself from me. The result is that I don't feel emotion from him to me -- his voice is usually monotone on the phone, he doesn't usually sound excited to hear from me (on the phone) and he ALWAYS freezes up when I express emotion or need to be comforted or shown understanding.

The result is that I don't feel fully intimate with him, which makes me feel like I'm not good enough (or else he would sound excited to hear from me) or that I'm not worth the stretch and "discomfort" that he'd feel by opening up to me.

And yes, I know that these are erroneous conclusions based on some of his other behaviors -- like the fact that talking on the phone guarantees the monotone state, yet in person he usually acts more happy to see me -- and how he tries to reassure me that it's not that I'm not special to him, but that he just has a hard time opening up.

The most ironic part? He has no problem spilling his emotions to me, and expects me to take care of him in the way that I'd like him to do for me.

So, my questions are:
1. Is the emotional distancing thing just an inevitable tendency for men?
2. Are most men able to offer empathy when their partner's upset; or are most not able to deal with so much emotion at once?
3. Finally, what is it about the phone that's threatening/unappealing??

I'm hoping I'll get advice from both males and females.

Thanks!

Jessie