Thanks again DJ for being here for me.... As I told Jenn, you all are MORE friends to me than the few humans that are around me each flippin' day.....

I can actually relate to the church part... I cannot bear to go anymore bcuz of all the people around me - and just as your situation is, I have known most of them all my life... It's a small MCC church (if you don't know what that is, let me know as it will get my mind off things for a while) for the GLBT community... We're already "taboo" as is, and I was riased Catholic so I decided to join this church so I could worship as ME - not what "THEY" wanted me to be....

I can't bear to see them and be looked at and ridiculed - espeially in a HOUSE OF WORSHIP!!! Talk about being hypocrites.....

You are right in the sense that they simply cannot deal, accept, handle, or whatever posessive word you want to use here to describe it, my disorders/diseases.... It is a shame, but it is THEIR loss when the 'real' Niko comes out once in a while... I guess I am a friend of convenience as I was asked by one to assist them w/the down payment on their home (now you all know I just lost my house to foreclosure); how RUDE can that be? Guess they didn't like my answer which was the above... I obviously am PENNILESS so how the hell am I supposed to help YOU when I can't even help MYSELF??

Regardless, I know they are ignorant to these disorders and I can't really stay that mad... It's hard to NOT be mad, but I know I have to let it go.. it's just one more reason for me to not leave this house EVER EVER again... What's the point? Just to be hurt, poked fun at, or be ridiculed? I get enough of that in this place i call home... I don't need it elsewhere....

Thanks for everything DJ... I sincerely appreciate you being here for me.... How is everything at your parents? Are you getting settled down OK? I'm here, of course, wheneve you need it... Always remember that.....~N