Hi ThisIsMe. I understand completely what it's like to be judged by you past. I'm a recovered alcoholic and I did some crazy things, hurtful things, embarrassing things in my past. Well I've been sober for over three years now, which is not very long, but I've made amends to those I hurtand am now a spiritual loving person. I finally had to learn to ease out those people that continued to try and beat me down. Know that you are a precious child of God. I will pray for you.