Thanks everyone.

LolaCabanna, I am the same person I was before, but now someone who actually knows me KNOWS. That feels pretty awful and different.

gashly, next time, I will ask him for tips on dealing with the weirdness in my head during lapses because of the holidays. Thanks for reminding me that I should just do that.

3rdTimesThe Charm, thanks for calling me brave. I don't feel brave. It took me a couple of hours to stop shivering after talking to T about it. I'm working on just feeling sad for that little kid I used to be. Feeling some compassion. It still feels weird.