I just wrote this to my T. I want to share it with you guys because I think many of you may feel the same way I do? My T lets me email him and if I ask for a reply, he gives me one. This was what I just sent him.

~~~~~~~~~

T,

I want to ask you for a reply...
I want to have you say something I can put in my heart to keep...
but what I feel and have been feeling the past few weeks with the level of what we are doing is beyond words. And I have sat here for an hour thinking "What do I NEED?" And I can't word it at all.

I imagine you giving me a billion trillion hugs as tight as you can.
That feels good, but it is not what I need.
I imagine being able to talk to you non-stop for 300 hours in a row...
that feels great to me, but it is not what I need.
I imagine you cloning yourself and letting me take you with me everywhere for a whole week, and that feels like a blast! But it is not what I need.

I need exactly what you are giving me - the tools and medicine I need to heal.
I know that. But sometimes I just feel like I will never be put back together again.
I feel like I need to just not feel this way inside.
But I know I am healing. Tears and all.

I guess I just need to remember that you are here with me and that I am not alone anymore with all this stuff.

Thanks for seeing me through.

W
~~~~~~~~~