Are you seeing a therapist? That's an excellent way to jump start the change, so to speak.

I've been struggling with depression for quite a long time and while I can't always control my negativity, I work like a demon to keep it reined in when I'm forced to socialize. It is Hard. Work. But it is possible, you just have to learn to compartmentalize your emotions, focus on the moment, focus all of your attention on the other person, and keep it together for others' sake. You can let it all hang out when you're here, when you're speaking with a professional, but putting on a game face for social interaction isn't just something you do to make your life easier, it's a kindness we do for other people. Because the ones who care about you deserve the best part of you.

It's not an easy reality to face, but depression can make the sweetest person a toxic, self-centered a-hole. You can't blame others for wanting to distance themselves from the toxicity.

I hope you're able to get the support you need in short order.