You probably just fear being let down by your T. Your T will be able to come through for you most of the time. However, his/her humaness will sometimes get in the way. I think you will be able to handle it if your T is unable or just accidently falls short. I hope you will be able to trust your T and your ability to deal with the times that people fail you in order to take the risk of reaching out for help. Remember reaching out for help does involve risk. So, if we can't express our need, it doesn't make us bad people. We're just people with fear/anxiety/defense mechanisms/or whatever it is that holds us back.etc.