I had those same thoughts for many years, and stayed alive for my daughter, and then my grandson. I was obsessed with the thought that this world is not my home, and I did not want to be in it. You are not alone.
I found a good pdoc and got on some meds so now those thoughts are gone, finally, and I see the pleasure in life, for the most part. Bipolar is a chemical imbalance and if you can find the right meds it is something you can live with. Not sure if you have tried meds, but if you have and they didn't work, please try again.