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Originally Posted by newtus
I told my therapist this, but she does not understand
i got very angry
i said:
"i dont pay you to patronize me, or give me advice, i pay you to listen to me"
she said:
"well you may not like what i have to say but you sound paranoid. the stuff you are saying, a lot of paranoid schizophrenics already have went through this. why do you suppose you have your diagnosis?"
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It must be frustrating to feel you're not being heard or understood. I think I would feel angry too.
Psychotherapy is like a complicated interpersonal dance. You have to feel each other on an emotional level. It sounds like you were missing each other on that day. That happens every once in a while in any relationship. It can be disconcerting. Hopefully not all of your sessions are like that one.
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i just keep thinking about that.
thinking: well, part of the predators out there are specific psychiatrists targeting me.
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I'm sorry you're feeling so scared.
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face to face contact is to be kept to a minimum.
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Is there no one you feel safe enough to have some face to face contact with?
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any further reports on me are of my not following instruction.
my not obeying.
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You feel like you'll get in trouble for being non-compliant?
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she probably has the most easiest job in this whole manhunt
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I doubt if it seems that way to her. She may be feeling scared too?
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she can look at my face
she can write down things and hide them from me
if she so wishes
what else can i say?
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You're feeling exposed in front of her and you feel like she has power over you? That would be really scary, especially if you weren't feeling trust toward the other person.
I adopted a teenaged boy some years ago, and we went through something like 12 therapists of various kinds in about 6 years. I've also had therapy with a couple of people myself. And my bio son is now in therapy, and I've attended some sessions with him. So I've seen a lot of therapists in action. Some were better than others. Some were actually unhelpful. But I can't remember a single one who seemed to have any malevolent intent. They all meant well.
I suspect people usually go into helping professions like therapy because they care about people and want to help. Probably that's true of your therapist too. She doesn't want to hurt you; she wants to help.
