I feel you completely and 100 percent. Some of my best writing in the past came from a very dark place. While I don't enjoy the "I want to die" point either (and I've been getting there here lately ) I do get the intellectual level. I've been told by many people that I'm an empath. I've always been able to tell what people are feeling and thinking just by being near them for a minute. I feel things too deeply sometimes it feels but I like it in a way and hate it. It really is hard to understand and describe but I never thought I would see anyone with the same views.