Quote:
Originally Posted by aries2217
I'm well aware of the effects and indications of the medications she is on. I know she has an opiate addiction, and if it were just that, I'd probably be okay with it. It is the Soma, Flexeril, and Klonopin. Theses are great meds, I've been on all of them before (not all at once) and I am still on Klonopin for the wretched anxiety I suffer from.
I know she has an emotional connection to these pills. She is depressed, but has refused treatment time and time again. She has even seen firsthand how therapy can help someone (she took me for YEARS) and I am in a much better place. She told me the other day that she feels she has no one to talk to and I don't doubt it. She has alienated everyone so much because she creates these scenarios in her mind that don't make any sense and tries to turn me and my siblings against each other - she has a brand new grand baby and she seems like she doesn't care that it is even on this earth. She's so selfish, she can't see beyond what is in it for her. Sorry to rant, but she is ruining herself. Her pain management doc is no doubt a great physician, but I feel that she is manipulating him better than she manipulates us. She is so negative, I just want to shake her and scream. I don't know anymore.
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Ares,
I hear your frustration, loud and clear.
This is not a forum for me to offer anything but opinion, so please consider the following to be simply that -- my respectful opinion.
May I suggest that your mother is experiencing severe loss. What you describe sounds very much like she is lost within the grieving process described by Kubler-Ross (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).
In such cases, a good grief counselor is often the quickest way to help one through this nightmare.
The manipulation of physician(s) complicates matters. A review of her medications seems a reasonable request, though as you realize, may cause resentment. Still, I think confiding in her physicians is a good idea.
You are that proverbial space described as 'between a rock and hard place.' There is no answer that will not, initially, create friction. So, you may have to think beyond the initial unpleasantness your interaction may cause.
You may recall from your own therapy the concept of 'hitting bottom.' This is a difficult process to watch in loved ones. Again, keep your vision on the future, and be clear in your goals.
Dysfunction in any aspect is a social/family issue. When one falls into the depths, the reverberations are felt by all who are near.
Please remember to take care of yourself during this challenging time, which coincidentally, is that certain time of year when family is supposed to come together in love and gratitude. Although the timing of your urge to act is poignantly appropriate, dealing with sorrow when it seems the rest of the world is celebrating can only make your task more of a burden.
You may have also learned in therapy the simple mathematics of helping another who has fallen. When we attempt to 'fill the hole' in another's life, we often have to give up something of ourselves as fill material.
Take care of yourself.
I wish you inspiration and peace.
--M