A past T really wanted me to get on antidepressants. I went to the doctor, just because I had agreed that I would make the appointment, but told the doctor that I didn't really want meds so I didnt get a prescription. Within a month after that, T dropped me.

Does that make me non-compliant? I take SJW (I haven't been consistent with that lately though - after three years it seems like I ought to be able to get off of it), but anyway I didn't want to be dependent on a prescription for several reasons. I didn't want to have that regular expense, and I was worried about not having control over getting it and what if I needed it and couldn't get it, and also I wanted to learn how to manage my symptoms without it. I do feel that we should have the choice.

I do know that there's a biological basis for mental health problems in my case. I have way too many relatives who have significant problems for there not to be. And the things that have happened in my life don't really compare to what others of you have been through. I'm rather sensitive.

I'm not sure how well I comply with therapy sometimes either though. I keep feeling like I really ought to just get my act together and not need that, but I don't get my act together. T asks me when I'm going to stop getting in my own way.

I think that maybe if people would comply better with treatment they would feel better sooner, but on the other hand, I'm not sure that we can comply better than we do all of the time. And also, it might not be what is best for us. Maybe we need to struggle through some of this in order to develop the skills to really recover, and if treatment were faster, we would be missing something, and maybe we would just have to go through it all again a few years or months down the road.

Rap