Ok, there is a lot of reading material here to digest. It was good for me to see this material because many of the methods talked about here are actually things I DID do in my past. I noticed that there is that part of me that I do tap onto when addressing others in my posts. I have noticed that from the point of psychological struggle I am at now I do try to reach back to that woman that seemed to be able to perservere. There are so many suggestions here that I not only used but encouraged others to use as well although I didn't have this material as a guide.

In my current struggle I have to say that I have been very discouraged because I thought that I had coped through many different BIG challenges in my life and it seems to appear that somehow I didn't fair as well as I thought.

I actually find it truely baffling that I cant seem to proceed the way I used to. This has made me question if I truely DID recover from many different truely difficult, even abusive struggles or did I just effectively find ways to minimize situations or push them aside where unbeknownst to me, they were just laying in wait and never truely were overcome.

Yes, I do believe the brain has so much capacity to overcome and heal. I believe that if we work our brains like a muscle, focusing on just one muscle or area, even possibly depressive thoughts or artist abilities or another area we can over develope that one area and make it stronger the other areas can become weaker without our consciously knowing it. For example if something happens that presents some kind of depression either childhood neglect or some kind of failure or maybe even becoming overwhelmed with a learning disability, I believe that it is possible that we can unknowingly allow these failures etc. to become a focus that increases that part of our brains. So if we take a failure and obcess about it or are not shown how to overcome it, we can actually begin a process of working out the area of our brain that promotes depression and self loathing.

I even saw another article that talks about how we can now see that area of the brain presents a change that is not seen in the brain of a more balanced happier functioning person who shows no signs of depression or self loathing. We are developing new ways to examine the brain and can see changes in the brains that are in different individuals that are presenting not only depression but also PTSD. Yet we do not know "yet" what that really means, we are just beginning to see it.

I know that there are studies being done that are showing the changes in areas of the brain that are in individuals with a real diagnosis of what I would call acute PTSD. And we do see some cell damage, and the size of the hypocampus is said to actually shrink in children that have been severely abused. It is also noticed that not only is the hypocampus smaller in those that struggle with PTSD but there is also some cell damage. What I am not reading is a continuing study of the damage and what happens as a result of treatment, medication, and time. I do have difficulties that I didn't address on the level I am addressing now. So, I do not know what that means. I do find it very confusing. I still believe that the brain has a tremendous capacity to regenerate and even develope new ways to restore function, we have seen that happen in real brain injuries. I am just not sure, and I don't think it is truely known yet how a brain can repair from a severe case of PTSD.

Unfortunately the studies are being done and even theories are being presented by researchers that are, to the best of my knowledge, not experiencing the issues themselves. I remain very hopeful, but I will admitt that I am struggling and as much as I am trying to think much of this away, I am still struggling. I continue to try. I do know with everything I read I try to truely toss the information around in my mind and try to consider what I may not be seeing.

Thank you,

Open Eyes