I just thought it was worth mentioning. I'm asexual (a minority orientation where someone doesn't experience sexual attraction) and I've known other asexuals who desire loving relationships with other people and have had sex for various reasons, but often when an asexual doesn't know they are asexual, they may find that sex is unfulfilling or uncomfortable and that they've been engaging in it for all the wrong reasons.

I'm not saying that is the reason, of course. It could be a physical condition affecting your ability to enjoy intercourse, or a mental block (you mentioned the incident, which could affect it) or that just the right circumstances haven't occurred yet, but as options go, I wanted to put it out there