*I leave the gas on, walk the alleys in the dark
Sleep with candles burning, I leave the door unlocked
I'm weaving a rope and running all the red lights
Did I get your attention? 'Cause I'm sending all the signs

That the clock is ticking and I'll be giving my two weeks
Pick your favorite shade of black you'd best prepare a speech
Say something funny, say something sweet
But don't say that you loved me

I'm still breathing
But we've been dead for a while
This sickness has no cure, we're going down for sure
Already lost our grip, best abandon ship, oh*

This song has really spoken to me, I feel like I'm taking more risks, thinking about throwing myself down the stairs, hurting myself, or walking home in the dark, hoping I'll be ok but then feeling a bit disappointed when I get home safely. I don't know what's wrong with me, I just feel like I deserve to hurt and have bad things happen. Is this normal?