My Support Forums - View Single Post - It is not me what is the problem... it is the world and having to live in it

venusss · Nov 23, 2011, 02:10 PM

Trigger for philosophizing.

So I have been thinking lately (as if I ever done something else) and one thing occured to me. I don't have problem with myself per se. Sure I have way too many fears, and feel I am too intense sometimes, and I have hurt people and I have hard time forgiving myself for that, I am not as capable as I would want to, I am powerless in the world.

All these problems I have, most of them anyways... they come from me interacting with the world. While I am very interconnected with the real world and the events around me influence me... at the same time I live in my own world... so outside happenings shatter my inner worlds, because it is not how I would like it to be. It is about the others, but it is about me as well, to a big degree.

The issues I have... they would not be problem if I were an island or lived in perfect environment. So I would be down, but it would not matter as much and there would not be outside pressure to make me even worse. If it was not for the "world" I would not have to push myself and put myself in situations that harm me emotionally or trigger some feelings in me. So what that I am manic... if there would be no restrictions and I could do whatever I could without repercussions? As a world of its own... all my applitudes, even fears... make sense.

The "problem" comes up when I have to interact with the world (or let's be more exact and say "other people's worlds", because everybody has world of their own... and the "real world" is consisted of our interaction and interdependence. Sorta like countries in the world system... and maybe as chaotic, with inner turmoils and all). So I guess this is where most people, even the normal ones have problem... it takes time to learn how to work in the system, how to function. The interaction of our very different worlds causes the most problems.

I don't know what can be done about it... because if I was to learn from International Relations... then there is not answer. I guess the best way to survive, prosper and be well is to learn to recognize other's worlds and learn what the shared meanings are. Challenge the system only when it is worth it, learn to adapt at other times (how we do it is another question).