Ares,

I hear your frustration, loud and clear.

This is not a forum for me to offer anything but opinion, so please consider the following to be simply that -- my respectful opinion.

May I suggest that your mother is experiencing severe loss. What you describe sounds very much like she is lost within the grieving process described by Kubler-Ross (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance).

In such cases, a good grief counselor is often the quickest way to help one through this nightmare.

The manipulation of physician(s) complicates matters. A review of her medications seems a reasonable request, though as you realize, may cause resentment. Still, I think confiding in her physicians is a good idea.

You are that proverbial space described as 'between a rock and hard place.' There is no answer that will not, initially, create friction. So, you may have to think beyond the initial unpleasantness your interaction may cause.

You may recall from your own therapy the concept of 'hitting bottom.' This is a difficult process to watch in loved ones. Again, keep your vision on the future, and be clear in your goals.

Dysfunction in any aspect is a social/family issue. When one falls into the depths, the reverberations are felt by all who are near.

Please remember to take care of yourself during this challenging time, which coincidentally, is that certain time of year when family is supposed to come together in love and gratitude. Although the timing of your urge to act is poignantly appropriate, dealing with sorrow when it seems the rest of the world is celebrating can only make your task more of a burden.

You may have also learned in therapy the simple mathematics of helping another who has fallen. When we attempt to 'fill the hole' in another's life, we often have to give up something of ourselves as fill material.

Take care of yourself.

I wish you inspiration and peace.

--M