It is interesting to read how the two of you can present some common responses and find ways to relate.

What is emerging with studying and discovering aspects of PTSD is that some cases are worse than others, more complicated and patients took different routes to self sooth and adjust to their living conditions that presented this condition in the brain. It is also becoming known that some people have larger hypocampus's that help them escape the disorder called PTSD. And it is also being recognized that children who suffer abuse have hypocampus's that shrink in size which can make them more prone to depression and other issues later in life. But don't just assume that your going to be one of these as the brain can also recover.

We have to recognize that there are variations of struggles that present with PTSD and therapy treatments have to be designed according to the severity of the PTSD present in the patient. As you both have noted here your siblings either faired worse or better. This could be depending on the severity of their abuse, position in the family and personal ways of finding comfort or designing self soothing methods to help them combat the condition. And we have to remember that most children develope PTSD damage and are totally unaware that it is taking place.

I have to say that I had no idea what I was truely dealing with, and I myself developed many coping methods that I have used all my life. Unfortunately for me when I was in therapy and read various coping methods that opened up pandora's box and then I could not do most of my usual coping methods because I could now see how they were attached to tramas.

I am again looking at my coping methods a little different and am now trying to see them as a value rather than a reminder of trama, but I am only just seeing that and trying to work my way back to reusing them in a healthier way, not so easy, very tricky.

Unfortunately if someone is diagnosed with PTSD that is not as severe that person can pick up on coping methods and truely find a way to overcome PTSD much easier. I know, because I had unknowingly done that myself. But if someone suffers a worse case they can take longer to unravel and understand how it manifested to a more acute case and it has to be unraveled slowly in therapy. As you mentioned the anger, often anger is there and yet a patient is so acustomed to it they may infact not recognize it consciously.

Personally I am trying to understand why I managed to cope before and not now, it has been explained to me that many of my experiences were sort of held back in my brain and my most recent trama released old damage that I had somehow maintained for years. So in my case I am much more sensitive now than ever before. It sure is mindboggling to me as I face triggers that have a more intense reaction in my brain where in the past I was able to overcome them better. I am very confused by it, but I am open minded and continue to make efforts to overcome.

It is important as we all come to this forum that we understand what may be easier for one to overcome, may be much more difficult for another. I do get upset if one person with not as bad a case of PTSD utters any advice that says I am giving into my condition.
Perhaps some do give in, but I know I am fighting very hard to learn how to deal with something I could never have imagined and it is a lot harder than I could have ever imagined as well so as some say, get over it, I don't think one just gets over it, one has to truely understand what it means and find ways to gain control over it and be able to live a more functional life. If anything I would have to strongly advise, do not give into the feelings of self hate and feelings that we can never be loved or that it is all our fault.
I can totally relate to a quick response to someones dis-satisfaction as feeling, "Oh, I did something wrong, its my fault" feeling. And that can be an auto response that we all havet to truely become aware of and recogise that we consciously have to learn how to stop ourselves from blaming ourselves and feeling anger with ourselves or even anger at others.

Open Eyes