My imagination was always so self impowering. I was always the conquerer. Then I got raped and suddenly I was the victim. Part of my healing...that I haven't told T about yet...is trying to have those powerful fantasies again. One I love is when I am working the compost pile I imagine that I am the shaman of an ancient tribe who people come to for advice and wisdom. While I am working the compost I feel so very close to the circle of life and death so a shaman who can walk both worlds seems an appropriate person to fanstasize being don't you think? This fantasy also helps me explore my spiritual landscape. I find out what I believe when I answer the questions of the people in need. It makes me feel connected somehow.
Zen

<font color=blue>I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence but, it comes from within. It is there all the time.--Anna Freud