Well about that post....I haven't been telling the therapist about my desire to lose weight until the therapist worked it all out. I have just found out that I am in some stage of anorexia nervosa. I don't know exactly what it all means. I am extremely underweight. I think I know that but I still want to lose weight.
I have freaked out because I have admitted to my therapist that I want to lose weight. I know that it's stupid in my mind but there is another part of me that says, "don't eat, lose weight," The thing is that I know that it is stupid but I am scared of getting fat. It's all very scary and embarrassing.
I just wanted to tell someone. I'm so tired all the time and I'm scared of everything. I'm depressed and I feel so lame. I'm freaking out. It's just a shock to me. I must have been fooling myself so well. I never dreamed that I would be here writing this or that this would be happening to me. It's always something I've heard that movie stars or models have. Not little old normal people like me. I was in such denial. I'm completely freaking out about what's in store for me. I'm so ashamed. Anyone else been here?