(((Songbird))))
I think Sky is onto something. I am beginning to learn that while the past is important in it's way, learning how to live in the present is just as or more so. Today is today. I take it one day at a time. I do today. I learn something new or try something different. I have to keep reminding myself and the others that there is nothing to harm us now. It's not a question of "survival" anymore. It's about beginning to LIVE.
Our T had us make a list of things that were self calming and what we liked to do. This is a "group" activity. I went to the SI board here and found a really good list of "things to do instead of harming", then found another someplace else. We compiled our own list from that.

Now we are to do something from that list every day. Write down what we did and how we felt when we did it--before and after and how long we did it.

Naomi does most of this work right now. She's a bit OCD so when she gets into something, she will work on it for a really long time--yesterday she worked in the garden for 4 hrs. Body is very sore and tired today. She's between 17 and 19, the body is 50+.

Hillbunny has a great thought too. And one of the things on the list is making a list of good qualities, things you like to do, things you can do. Positive things. Helps the focus go from the "I can'ts, don't know hows, I'm no goods..." to "I can, I do know, I'm worth something..." Very much a change in thinking from what we were taught, heard, and expected...

This is long, but I hope that there are things in here you can use. It didn't happen over night, believe me. We're nearly 9 mos into this DX and others fight it all the way. Naomi is just beginning to come around to working. Give yourself some credit for surviving first and then go from there.
w_i