I'm very sorry for all the pain you'r efeeling and the helplessness of not being able to get help as immediately as you need it. I too am having to wait until December 20th for my therapy appointment and I honsestly don't know if I can wait that long myself. I am feeling so desperate dealing with my depression and I missed 3 or 4 days of work week before last and when I did go to work I was just zoned out and almost not functional...

Anyway I think it is important to use whatever tools you have at hand right now and and try some of that group therapy... at least when you do that you'll be able to sit and talk and let others hear your problems and I'm sure there will be others in that group that will be able to relate to your feelings. Honestly I wish there were some group therapy like that going on around here because I'd already be signed up myself.

I wish you the best and keep holding on. Take it day by day and you WILL make it through this horrible time.