Its been 4 months and I still can't believe he is gone I feel like my whole life has been turned upside down, Brenda and i don't talk to each other any more, I mean we see each other at parties and we exchange pleasantries but in the end I know that there is still that unspoken tentsion between, I mean I did call her a ***** cause Gareth had died, is it wrong of me to try and hold on to the what once was or should I just let go, Brenda and I never really spoke about the whole situation. She is dating again, she's dating another friend of mine, he also happens to be a friend of Gareths, is it me or does it seem that she dates every1 else but me, I stil do love her and I always will that will never change, even in death my love 4 her will never fade.