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The Six (Wrong) Questions Men Love to Ask About Women
Understand, Cracked is a humor website, and the articles there are written in a humorous vein, although they do often speak the truth. Also, this is article is about a year old.
I think it's one of the truest articles I've ever read. For copyright purposes I'm obviously not going to rewrite the whole thing here, but I've given the link, and here's the gist.
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1. Wrong question: "Why do girls like jerks?" Right question: "What does [girl I am interested in] like in a guy?"
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I can give you my perspective on the nice guy/jerk issue, if you want me to. But I'll do that in a later post, because I don't want this one to get too overly long.
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2. Wrong question: "What does a girl mean when she says X?" Right question: "Girl, what did you mean when you said X?" Or, "What did [specific girl] mean when she said X?"
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Ba-ZING! I really hate it when all women are lumped into one category. "A woman wants....." "Girls need...." I am an individual. When I ask if I look fat in this dress, I want an honest answer. When I say I don't want a big fuss over my birthday, I mean I don't want a big fuss over my birthday. I'll be angrier if you DON'T take me at my word than I would be if you assume I'm "just saying that" and I really mean something else.
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3. Wrong question: "Why do hot women fish for compliments by pretending to think they're fat and ugly?" Right question: "How much does feeling fat and ugly bother this woman?"
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The Cracked article very correctly cites Julia Roberts, who is so thin that she has been accused of having anorexia, complaining about having to wear "big girl pants" in the movie Eat, Pray, Love. Talk about pressure for the rest of us! After saying I don't like to be generalized, I know it seems contradictory, but I don't know very many women who DON'T feel fat and ugly, thanks to the media's unattainable beauty standards. We're not fishing for compliments. We really feel that way.
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4. Wrong question: "Why won't women tell you what's wrong?" Right question: "Why might telling not work in this situation?"
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Well, I know I can't always talk to my husband, as wonderful as he is. If there are emotions involved, he'll assume it's my depressive illness and I'm having an episode. In response, he will then turtle up and refuse to hear me. Maybe that's why I shouldn't bother telling him what's wrong.
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5: Wrong question: "Why do women fuss so much about X trait (makeup, type of clothes, shoes) when us men clearly prefer natural beauty?" Right questions: A: Are they even doing it for men? B: Is your idea of "natural beauty" actually natural?
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That question was so well answered in the article that I have nothing to add. I do want to repeat something though. "It's unfair to complain about her fussing about clothes, while appreciating the result."
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6: Wrong question: "Why do guys have to do all the work to get a relationship while women just sit there and can pick any guy they want?" Right question: "Why do I only look at the women who can pick any guy they want?"
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I totally applaud that one. In a dating forum a few years ago, before I met my husband, I had a long conversation trying to reason with a guy who was complaining about that "women don't choose nice guys" thing, while at the same time loudly proclaiming that he would not accept less than a woman who looked like Angelina Jolie. When told maybe he should give a more ordinary looking woman a chance, he would rear up on his hind legs and roar, "I'm not SETTLING!" And he wondered why he was alone.