Ruben, a counselor can help you sort through your feelings and experiences in ways that I don't think you can on your own. You seem to be trying to avoid everything now, just stuff it down inside you and try to ignore what happened but how can you ignore the nightmares?

Until you've come to terms with everything, those nightmares are going to keep coming back. You've been very brave up to now. Please, Ruben, don't stop now. If you don't deal with these things they will continue to haunt you throughout your life. Please try.

Roadrunner