googley

i dont go to family for the holidays either. i have always given the excuse i cant afford it because i cant stand the idea of being with people who hurt me so much. i am not going to pretend that everything is better now that we are older. my mental health takes precedence. im done with them.

i went to a friends for thanksgiving too. and today im all alone and spent the day hanging out on PC posting. i know you have lots of people here who care deeply for you, not the same i know, but still you do have people who care.

i used to think people only wanted to be around me when i could help them, but i have found that i was wrong. its just that that was the only time i put myself out there. to help and then i isolated myself. people would love to have me around, i just dont allow them the opportunity. i always say no because i dont think people want me around. i feel like a burden or they are having pity for me. im learning this isnt true. people really like me for me. its hard to believe, but slowly i am letting them in. im learning that my mom was wrong. i believe that your mom was probably wrong too.

Hugs.