Please help me and my wife!

Here is the brief version... My marriage of 3.5 years basically failed because my wife never developed emotional or physical intimacy with me. A lot of damage was done throughout those years. After refusing to go to counseling, I left her. She then went to counseling to try to salvage our marriage, and got me to go. There she was diagnosed as having PTSD (which I originally thought was BPD but never mentioned to her).

Long story short, when I decided to leave, I took a job out of state to get away, but we have tried to make the marriage work again (and I leave for my new job soon). She has improved tremendously and the counselor is impressed with her. I believe the change is real and our life has improved considerably together.

The problem is now I am having trouble with my actions towards her. I want to stay with her and feel the emotions of love, care, and desire towards her. However, besides physical gestures (hugs, kisses, etc.) and words (telling her I love her), I am having trouble showing her these things. She feels like I am embarrassed / ashamed of her and I can't think of anything to show her this is not the case. I can't think of much to do to make her feel wanted.

But it is beyond that. We go to counseling and we have conversations outside of counseling about the status of our relationship for hours on end. I have trouble paying attention during these talks. She has expressed all of her issues with me and has given me questions I need to answer, but I have trouble remembering them. I can sit for hours and try to think about how I can help our issues or answer her questions and come up with little. I have even had trouble identifying my emotions on various topics - I don't even know how I feel. I have done some things (or not done other things) which she feels push us apart, and I don't mean to do these things. Anytime she asks me about why I can't do actions which help show her love / care / support, etc, my answer is "I don't know," which is the truthful answer - I honesty don't know why I have trouble matching my actions and words.

I can't remember conversations we have, think clearly, or do the appropriate things to help out situation, yet in almost every other area in my life, I do just fine. I have no trouble focusing on work, conversations with others, etc - only our relationship. And as a result, it is driving us apart.

Please help - why am I stuck and how can I overcome this???