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Nov 26, 2011, 01:57 PM
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Member Since: Nov 2011
Posts: 37
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DownfallOfUsAll
I keep wanting to write something on here but I don't know what to say. I'm just too lonely. 
I can't make friends. Even online it just seems so difficult nowadays. Most of the time I have no one to talk to. Everyone ignores me on all the social networking sites and I don't want to keep bothering everyone.
My best friends met up yesterday.. well I think they did and they didn't even ask me if I wanted to come. I just don't feel like they're even my best friends anymore. Well actually I've always felt like that a bit. I'm so sure they like spending time with each other more than me. I can't even talk to them about my problems or anything and isn't that what you're supposed to be able to do with best friends?
I'm so fed up with being indoors all the time but I've got nowhere to go and nothing to do. I can't stand this I feel like I have no one anymore. No one cares anymore. I just wanted someone to talk to. |
The sadness you are feeling is sad, but not entirely bad, for it may bring you to answers not found up to now and that's good. May I reflect my own life similar to yours and offer a bread crumb on your healing trail?
Sometimes we lack adequate brain wiring through neglect in our upbringing. Playfulness in a family structure helps build social skills for the adult power structures, which lie ahead. If this is of interest, read Dr. Bruce Perry's books, The Boy Who Was Raised by Dogs and Born for Love. His easy to understand books helped me realize attachment issues from a biological basis. Now my therapy has a purpose: rebuilding those purged or broken pathways.
I also take Citalopram, which helps tremendously to even out my emotions. Most of my decisions for sixty years have been anxiety-driven; now thanks to this medication and cognitive behavior therapy for the last two years, my motivations have a basis of contentment as the starting point.
The word autonomy was not taught in my core home. I thought like a child most of my adult life, blaming others for not making my world safe and sound. When I "took back my power," autonomy began. Now I look to therapists as guides towards my separation from childhood structure and find adult independence, which includes interdependence. The latter baffles me at times because I've learned to read negative signals quite well, but often miss the more positive boundary cues in others. So my therapist helps me learn and practice boundaries to not only "read others" but to keep myself in check. Learning to speak I-statements has been life giving!
It's a journey. Some of us may struggle in the process more than others, but redefining our lives is worth it. We have many new and better coping tools available in the village. Discerning is what builds a sense of self. May you learn to be gentle on yourself in that process as you look to the bread crumbs on your healing pathway. Your brain and body are on your side: learning to listen and learn is the challenge we are all worthy of.
May it help you to know that I agree with you about forums. Thousands of people are on them, which can make it feel doubly lonely--like being lost in the crowd. Sharing your truth is good, for doing so gives others a chance to get to know you. There is no one person who has all the answers. We each bring crumbs of what we've picked up so far, and hunger in what we haven't. Should you want to dialogue more about this, I will be glad to do so. Susan Q.
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