Thanks Rose, I do feel your right, I am trying to understand it and get information where ever I can. Anytime I find something new, not old but new or something explaining what is going on in my brain I find it very helpful. My husband doesn't think I should be searching for answers so much, in fact he told me that this morning. And that just frustrates me because I honestly struggle with it, I truely have a bad case and I am trying very hard to understand why I struggle so much. It is sooooo frustrating, I just want to know what is going on in my brain, because I feel so helpless sometimes and I get so angry that I can't just push it away or get over it or all the other suggestions that are implied by people who give advice and truely do not understand how hard it really is.

I have a lot on my plate with trying to figure out how I am going to get through the winter, I have never been this broke before. And it truely aggrivates the PTSD symptoms and I have bad thoughts because I can't seem to be my old self.

I hate to say it but when I ask for help I get a bad response and it just reminds me of all the times I asked for help and no one understood that I was serious. And then all the times where I didn't ask for help because I figured it would just disrupt others around me and create even more issues and damage, well, I have to say, that is exactly where I am.
I am totally frustrated. I am trying to tell people around me that I am getting worse, no one is listening, no one gets it.

If I didn't have people here that understand how painful it can be and the emotional/psychological struggle, I don't know what I would do.
Open Eyes