hi everybody. i found this forum because spending time with my family over the holidays is bringing up some issues for me and i dont know how to deal with them.

im in my thirties. i have short hair and am a woman who likes women. ive had several meaningful relationships with women over the years, so in that way i feel stable in my sexuality, but my family is very catholic and not supportive. to make matters worse the family always tells me how to dress, suggests (strongly) that i grow my hair out. they're not supportive of my sexuality, which i can deal with, but they're even less supportive of my appearance. i know that i'm a woman, i feel feminine even though i dress on the butch side. i don't identify as butch, but even my straight friends make comments about how im not a real girl. my siblings tease me because i dont wax my eyebrows or my lip.

after thanksgiving dinner with my family i feel ugly and ashamed. my nephew (who is only six) doesn't understand that i'm not a man and my sister doesn't seem to do much about it but laugh. i've never talked to anyone about how much pain this causes me. i feel too embarrassed about my naturally flat chest and dark hair on my upper lip. i don't know what to do.