Warning, some of this could be graphic. If any of it is inappropriate, could a moderator please help me out in rewording it?

I know for sure I was a victim of sexual abuse as a child. There were multiple instances and more than one perpetrator involved. I know that the cases involving touching were definitely abuse. What I'm wondering about is, what about sexually inappropriate comments? Even if they aren't meant to be? I had several step-fathers. Only one of them *outright* abused me sexually, but I can look back now and remember things that definitely should not have been said in front of me. If you were a CPS worker or a judge, would you call the following situations instances of sexual abuse?

1. Mother's husband #6 had me on his lap (I was 15) while he and my mother were flirting verbally. Finally he told me I'd better get off his lap, because he was getting... well... excited. He actually named what was happening to him. I now feel like that didn't need to be said to me, and he should have just asked me to get up. Same step-father used to remark, while hugging and kissing my mother, that she was, shall we say, showing signs of excitement, and named what he could feel her body doing. I won't say specifics, like he did. I *am* trying to be appropriate. This man never touched me or approached me, but was his overtly sexual attitude toward my mother too much in the presence of myself and my younger siblings? Come to think of it, is 15 too old to be lap-sitting like that?

2. I changed my name later as an adult. In childhood I answered to Robin. When we would visit my grandparents, my grandfather would call out cheerfully when he saw me, "Well, it's Robin Redbr***t!" Never mind that I hated being compared to the bird all the time, which is one of the reasons I changed my name. As I got older that "br***t" part made me feel uncomfortable, and I started to answer in a tone of embarrassment, "None of your business what color my br***t is." He also used to recite a poem in front of us, "Ding-dong bell, (kitty)'s in the well. Who threw her in? Little Johnny Grin. Who pulled her out? Big John Stout." It was meant to be a children's poem, but it was another synonym for "cat" that he used there. I told him once that I didn't think it was quite right, in front of children, and he answered, "I can't help it if people get their minds in the gutter." No doubt he would have said the same if asked about "Robin Redbr***t." By the way, this grandfather did end up putting his hands on me inappropriately, when I was 14. I resisted, and he later told me he was just testing me to see if I'd be a good girl and fight it off like I'm supposed to. You know what? Barf at that. When he put his hands on me, that was blatant SA, but what about the words he said? Even if he didn't mean it like that?

3. Then there was mother's boyfriend, when I was 16. He lived with her for 3 years but never married her (thank GOD!) so he wasn't an official stepfather. His main game was verbal and emotional abuse, trying to put me down and make me feel bad about myself. For example, he ripped into me for getting a score of 99, not merely on a test, but as the grade on my report card. But there was one thing he told me, in response to me getting understandably angry and yelling "Sc**w you!" He laughed and answered, "If you were the last girl on earth, I'd rather (satisfy myself)."

Of course my mother just sat there without a word and let all of this happen. With that last exchange with the non-stepfather, she and my siblings all just laughed like they were watching insult humor in a 1970's sitcom. In fact, when it stopped, my brother actually asked for it to start again so he could hear more insults.

How much of the above is also SA?