Give yourself sometime and let 'things' just happen. Sexual trauma definitely affects one's ability to respond favorably to one's partner. Fear does crazy things to us. While there is much talk of engaging is some various sexual self-stimulating practices for the anwser, stay away from it. Those practices can form a deeper barrier between you and a partner that you are looking forward to meeting one day. They are self-destructuve in the long run and really isolate you all the more. I listened to that philosophy for awhile and found out the hard way, that any form of self-stimulation was also self-destructive. Perhaps, you need to talk to your T about this. Trust someone you can talk to if you don't have a T. Holding these thoughts inside deos not help the siuation at all. I will eat away at you untile you have no ersonal pride left.