Short n swt,

By this point, I would be blowing my top at both of them. For me, excuses are a huge trigger especially after going through the trauma I went through with the RN always throwing excusses at me for doing what she did while stealing my Mothers ID ( the rest of the things she did).

I never was good at tolerating excuses....& expect others to stand up to people that pull excuses too. My husband is similar....he loves to give everybody the benifit of the doubt....thinking that the excuses are real. After what I went through last year, I just plain blow up when I get more than one excuse....even from my husband.

It sounds like you are putting together your money with your boyfriend for your own lives & she is taking away that money by making him pay that amount......If it were me (& I am very tough on this kind of situation), I would put up an ultimatum that he stops this situation right now. He has been given a way to stop the phone usage & I wouldn't wait to see if she will pay....especially now that she has a new phone in her name. I can't tollerate the wait & see anymore than I can tollerate excuses. Relationships are tough enough without an ex getting into the picture & taking away money that should be kept in the relationship you have with your BF.

The thing is that you know the workings of your relationship with your BF & know what you expect out of it. I think it is important to any relationship that both sides of a situation be brought out....& my feeling is that as long as you are part of the relationship (whether or not if you aren't bringing in any money), you are entitiled to a say in how the money is being spent.

Personally I wouldn't put up with the excuses any longer & would put down an ultimatum that either he reports the phone stolen & stops its use, stopping the need to continue paying for it.....or I would pull out of my part of the relationship....starting with my money then myself. If that has no effect on how soft he is being with the situation.....then I would feel better off being out of that kind of relationship. But what you need to realize that my opinion is based on my life experiences.....not yours.

In reality, you need to do what you feel is the right thing to do for yourself. Being tough & pulling out of a relationship isn't that easy at all...a hard decision to make.

Hope things will work out so your relationship won't be hurt, but you need to realize in the future that your BF may continue being this way in dealing with other issues....my husband is the same way......& has been the same way for 30 years. He always listens to the excuses & feels sorry for the other person. I am going through a similar situation with a contractor that billed us twice for something. My husband paid it first, then handed the paying over to me without communicating to me what he had already paid for. For 6 months, I had been letting my husband try to the contractor to refund us that money & finish up the work that has already been paid for because the contractor needed the money to help take care of him MIL. It was thanksgiving & his brother was Dx'ed with cancer, then it was christmas, then his other brother died, (then it was groundhogs day.).....then he had to have a surgery.....however by the friday after what was supposed to be his surgery, he had loaded up his truck with his lawn mower to do his yard care business & there was a new car in his garage....but he continually says if there is anything he can do for us, just ask......I lost it at that point & am putting down the ultimatum that he either sit down this week & go over the overpayment & the almost $3,000 of work that hasn't been finished, or I will go file with small claims court.....I am sick of excuses & they are a huge red flag & a major trigger.

It is hard to live with people who are so open to excuses...but tollerance is a part of any relationship. It is a personal thing as to how much we are able to put up with. I hope things will work out for you & your BF so that his ex's actions won't come between you.

Debbie