i honestly dont know why i want to be with him! he has good parts, but more often then not lately the bad parts have been wining out over the good. maybe i think i can be the one to save him, or i just dont know how to let go! Or maybe im angry at myself that he gets to do this to me again and i let him! I quess in someways i feel like the biggest fool on the planet because all i want to do is be there for him and help him, i though when you loved someone you supported them through the hard times.

I guess im mad because i let him do it to me again, and he told me to have faith in him and once i did and let down my walls again this happens. i do worry about him though and try to emphasize with his pain!